We remove “good” and “bad” from our language because those labels collapse complexity into judgment—and judgment shuts down learning, reflection, and connection.
What your child may hear (and feel) every day:
Empowering Autonomy & Accountability
- “Was that choice empowering or harmful?”
- “Would you like to try again in a way that feels true to who you are?”
- “What would make you proud of this moment?”
- “You are free to choose—but all choices have impact.”
- “Let’s pause and notice what your body is telling you.”
Encouraging Reflection (Not Shame)
- “What’s the story you’re telling yourself about this?”
- “Does this feel like your truth or someone else’s?”
- “Let’s be curious about that feeling.”
- “It’s okay to feel big feelings—we’re here to feel them with you.”
- “What do you need right now: space, support, or silence?”
Identity + Purpose Language
- “What lights you up lately?”
- “Does this choice align with your purpose?”
- “Is this helping you become who you want to be?”
- “You don’t need to be perfect—you just need to be present.”
Emotional Regulation & Nervous System Awareness
- “Let’s take 3 grounding breaths together.”
- “Is this your calm body or your stormy body?”
- “Your nervous system is speaking. Let’s listen.”
- “Where do you feel that in your body?”
Community & Repair Language
- “Let’s do a repair circle and hear everyone’s heart.”
- “How did that impact the group?”
- “You belong here—even when it’s hard.”
- “You’re not in trouble. You’re in transformation.”
Intrinsic Motivation & Learning
- “Are you proud of your effort or your outcome?”
- “Did that stretch you in a way that felt good?”
- “What part of your brain lit up during that?”
- “You don’t have to finish—but are you still curious?”
Spiritual and Emotional Integration
- “Let’s take a moment to honor what’s shifting in you.”
- “Truth lives in the quiet moments—do you hear it?”
- “Can we hold love and frustration at the same time?”
- “You are already whole. Learning is just remembering.”
At The Canopy School, we believe children are not here to be good—they are here to be whole.
When kids are constantly told they are “good,” they begin to fear failure and develop fragile self-esteem. When they’re labeled “bad,” they start to believe they can’t change.
We don’t want “good kids.”
We want truthful kids.
Compassionate kids.
Resilient kids.